Ronnie At The Box Office

Director:  Peter Berg

Cast:  Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson

Rating: C+

Crash! Bang! Clank!! Screech! Those are the loud obnoxious sounds of the latest Disney film “Battleship” inspired by the game created for children in the 1960s by Hasbro.  With a corny romance thrown in, silly dialogue, and senseless plot line, “Battleship” actually does have some entertainment value.  This over-the-top dumb movie may just be the mindless summer fun that some movie goers seek.

A group of scientist discovers a planet, affectionately named “Planet G”, which has an atmosphere similar to earth. Convinced that the far off neighbor may support life, the scientists send out a signal through space in an effort to communicate with whatever or whoever may be living on the distant planet.   One of the scientists warns that we may not like the answer that comes back from the call to outer space – a prediction of gloom and doom that will  come to be  later in the movie.

While the scientists are busy exploring deep space, we are introduced to the other characters in the film.  Lieutenant Alex Hooper (Taylor Kitsch) is a complete screw- up with untapped potential to become a stellar officer in the Navy. Commander Stone Hooper (Alexander Skarsgard) is Alex’s older straight laced successful brother trying to straighten out his younger sibling.  Sam (Brooklyn Decker) is the stereo typical blond bombshell love interest. Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson), who also happens to be Sam’s father, is the brooding intimidating Naval Commander everyone fears.  Petty Officer Cora “Weps” Raikes (Rihanna) struts her stuff as a tough gunslinger female among her male counterparts.

As expected, the call to “Planet G’ gets answered by some not so friendly aliens invading earth with five ships. The visitors are not coming with the purpose of building new diplomatic relations, but for destroying the world that attempted to get a friendly answer back from its wave hello. Much to the film’s credit, the invasion scene is quite intense as the hunks of metal noisily descend on earth.  One alien machine, which is a communications device, is destroyed when it crashes into Hong Kong, leaving the aliens have no way to communicate back to their home planet.  Now the extraterrestrials on are a mission to take over Hawaii so that they can hook up their communication system to our satellites and phone home.  Meanwhile on the Pacific Ocean Alex, Stone, “Weps”, and Admiral Shane are all on their individual ships engaged in combat with the alien invaders.

It seems the  intruders are on a mission to bring more of their kind back to earth to finish off our planet.  The lizard like beings manage to put up a force field around what looks like the mother ship and a few of their other ships as well as naval ships manned by both the U.S. and Japan. Outside the force field the remaining alien ships are wreaking havoc on the rest of the world.  So what do the Aliens want?  Why are they hell bent on destroying us?  How is it that the Aliens can pick and choose what to destroy or kill without really knowing what threat the target bears?  The answers to these questions and others will never be found in this miss-mash of a plot line.

Creative war strategy used by Lieutenant Hooper along with his Japanese counterpart that mimics the once popular Hasbro board game is actually very ingenious. The two officers use a grid much like the one used in the game to track  and attack the enemy.  Sadly, the offbeat dialog takes away from what could have been a perfect moment.  The hand to hand fight scenes between alien and man are also equally intense but again the story is so disconnected that audience will have trouble feeling any real emotion over anything the human characters are facing.  There is plenty of shape shifting going on with the mechanical wonders from outer space that resemble the shape shifting done in  the series of “Transformer” movies.  “Battleship” constructs the shape shifting space crafts nicely. The crafts are easy to detect and not confusing at all compared to what was done in “Transformers.”

Taylor Kitsch does well as the bad boy Lieutenant trying to make his way in the world.  The charming and slightly hot tempered character Kitsch plays actually suits him and the actor stands out in this movie.  Alexander Skarsgard does an okay job as the strict older brother. Rihanna gets quirky one-liners throughout the film and there is no way to judge if she can really act.  Brooklyn Decker does what she does best – looks pretty through the film.  A crippled Iraq war veteran and a motley crew of old World War II veterans make up a weak supporting cast.  The role of Admiral Shane is one that Liam Neesan could have done with his eyes closed since there is not too much for him to do other than grumble out his lines.

“Battleship” tops off blaring noisy effects with a screaming soundtrack so that by the time you leave the film you ears are ringing.   The film is packed with explosions, bombs, flying ammunition, and a few fist fights to hold your attention.  Paying attention to the incoherent story line will simply confuse you and give you a bigger headache than the ear-piercing calamity blasting across the movie screen. It is sad when filmmakers rely solely on special effects to get audiences to watch a film and not take into account that fans may feel their intelligence insulted by the lack of attention given to writing a good script.  Looking almost like an ad to join the Navy, “Battleship” has just enough tension  filled moments that keep the ship from sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

Director:  James McTeigue

Cast:  John Cusack, Luke Evans, Alice Eve, Brendon Gleeson, Sam Hazeldine, Kevin McNally

Rating: C

“The Raven” attempts to shed light on the mystery of what really happened to Edgar Allen Poe just before his death.   Poe died a few days after being found on a park bench in October of 1849. No one knows how he got there or the actual cause of his death.  Directed by James McTeigue, “The Raven” spins a tale of a serial killer duplicating murders that were written in Poe’s stories.  The movie starts off feeling a bit like the film “Seven”, an awesome crime drama made famous by Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey.  About 10 minutes after “The Raven” starts to unfold, it is evident that this film will not rise to the greatness of a movie like “Seven”.

Detective Fields (Luke Evans) is investigating a murder of a mother and daughter when he realizes that the scene of the crime feels very familiar to him. Fields has actually read about the murders in one of Poe’s (John Cusack) gruesome stories.   Fields enlists Poe’s help in tracking down the killer.  Poe, who spends his time drinking and drowning in self-pity because he feels he has run out of tricks to create new tales of terror, is now writing harsh reviews about other writers for a local paper.

Poe is deeply in love with Emily Hamilton (Alice Eve) and plans to marry her as soon as he can.  Knowing that her father, Capitan Hamilton (Brendon Gleeson) disapproves of her notorious fiancé, the two lovers opt to keep their affair a secret until the night of a grand ball when they will announce publicly that they are engaged.  Much to Poe’s horror he never has the opportunity to make his love for Emily public because the serial killer kidnaps her and uses her as a pawn in his game of chess.  The grisly murders duplicated from Poe’s writing continue with clues left on the bodies for Fields and Poe to decipher.  The clock is ticking and if the identity of the killer and Emily’s location is not solved, Poe’s beloved will surely die.  Not only has the killer managed to copycat the heinous acts from Poe’s stories but he also has Poe writing about the investigation — thus making Poe a character in one of his own stories.

This period piece has all the bells and whistles of a classic horror story but unfortunately nothing sounds off as the rather predictable film reveals its secrets.    The pacing of the movie is very sluggish and several scenes are completely disconnected and make no sense.  One minute Fields is desperately digging through a brick wall trying to locate Emily and you blink and now he is running down a dark corridor chasing a figure in a dark cloak. There is also the ridiculous contemporary dialog thrown in making the characters with their thick American accents of today appear very unbelievable.  Seriously filmmakers – do you really believe that people from the 1840s used the word “Okay”?

The one saving grace in this movie is John Cusack.  His portrayal of Poe as the down-and-out writer mourning the loss of his glory days is very engaging.  Adding just a touch of humor to his brooding arrogant character, Cusack manages to embrace the inner darkness of Edgar Allan Poe.  Cusack is also the only actor that seems to be speaking with a voice and language that would have been common to people of the 1840s. There is not much that can be said about the supporting cast. The performances were weak and added almost nothing to the film.  The drab script does not give the actors, all of who are not great to begin with, anything to latch on to and their characters are very stereotypical  and one dimensional.

The film tries hard to be like earlier favorites such as “Sherlock Holmes” and “Zodiac”.  Comedy and intrigue are completely lacking in “The Raven” and for the most part audiences have seen the crimes done a million times before so there is nothing new or mysterious in this movie.

“The Raven” is an absurd concocted theory of what really happened to Poe just before his death.  I doubt seriously if one of the greatest literary geniuses known for his classic work in the art of horror story telling would have been flattered by this latest tribute to him.  Hopefully ,“The Raven” will fly north – never to return.

Director:  Bart Layton

Cast:  Adam O’Brian, Anna Ruben, Cathy Dresbach

Rating: B+

“The Imposter”, a documentary directed by Bart Layton, takes us on a mind blowing and unbelievable journey through a winding highway filled with unexpected twist and turns mapped out by a complex web of deceit and lies.  This is a true story that you will think about a lot as you scratch your head wondering how on earth such a thing could happen.

In 1993 Nicholas Barclay, a 13 year old boy from San Antonio, Texas, was reported missing by his family. The story went almost unnoticed when oddly three years later the family gets a call that Nicolas is in a child protection facility in Spain.   Carey (Anna Ruben), Nicholas’s sister, in desperation gets on a plain to retrieve her brother from Spain and bring him home.  The young man Carey embraces is Frederic Bourdin (Adam O’Brian) , a 23 year old French  citizen who is actually a serial child impersonator.  Now things start to get really crazy.

Frederic Bourdin, who looks nothing like the blond blue-eyed Nicholas, manages to convince Carey that he has changed over the years and is having trouble remembering his past but knows he is her Nicholas.  The French citizen manages to convince U.S. Embassy and Spanish officials that he is the missing teenager from San Antonio. Once back in the U.S., Frederic even makes a believer out of an FBI agent that he is the lost boy.  When his sister gets him home to Texas the rest of the family is more than happy to believe that the young man in front of them is their abducted family member.  Being careful not to give too much detail so that his true identity will not be discovered, Bourdin weaves an intricate story of what supposedly happened to him when he was kidnapped

The story is told as a narrative and brilliantly re-enacts the events so that you feel like you are actually watching a fictional movie. But, we are reminded this is real life about something seemingly impossible that actually happened.  Bourdin would have us believe that he was neglected and abused as child and was simply trying to find a family that would love him.  As I watched the story unfold, I suspected that Bourdin’s confessions were no more genuine than his identity.  After all, if he could dupe a grieving family, what was to stop him from trying to dupe the interviewers?  As the camera closes in on the actor portraying Bourdon, his facial expressions convince you that the little liar  has no remorse for the pain he caused an innocent family.

The film hones in on how sloppy the FBI and Interpol were during this investigation even when clues were screaming at them that there was an imposter in their midst. It isn’t until a simple small town Texas detective, an extremely amusing character who lacks the investigative tools of more sophisticated investigators such as the FBI, becomes obsessed with the case that the truth starts to unfold.  The colorful sleuth notices physical characteristics that will have you looking at people’s features in a completely new way.  And the way the super snoop manages to outsmart officials and remembers how to compare the physical traits of both boys is even more astounding than the discovery itself.

Layton’s stylized documentary does a great job of getting the story told and manages to get quite a few laughs because the saga is so far- fetched. We are left to ponder the question – was Bourdin really smarter than everyone else or was everyone else just plain dumb?   There are points in the film that are a bit repetitive such as going back to a phone booth scene during which the first call to Spanish authorities was made. I think we got it the first time and it was not necessary to keep repeating that sequence among others.  A dark and creepy mood is effectively created in the film giving a feeling of something strange unfolding as the tall tale progresses.  “The Imposter” is filled with suspense that is similar to a good old fashioned page- turning crime novel.  You won’t want to look away from the screen for even a second other wise you might miss something important.

“The Imposter” gives new meaning to the old cliché “what webs we weave?”  This elaborate and complex film gives us insight to how gullible people can be – even those who are supposed to be trained to spot a fake a mile away.   This sleek documentary will make your head spin when questions are left open about what really happened to Nicholas Barclay.  This  movie  will surely make a great conversation piece for weeks or maybe even months to come for those who watched it – and that my friends is a sign of good film.

Director:  Andrew Edison

Cast:  John Karna, Luke Loftin, Andrew Edison, Will Fordyce

Rating: B+

First time director, Andrew Edison, creates a sticky combination of a gross, vulgar, tasteless, and crude in a coming of age story about three high school boys.  Hard to stomach at times, the formula for “Bindlestiffs” actually works and the crazy world of three skinny pimple faced teenagers is actually very funny.  The movie takes us on a one week journey of odd misadventures as the boys set out to experience “real life” and turn themselves into experienced savvy young men.

After their school bans students from reading “The Catcher in the Rye” written by Holden Caulfield , John (John Karna), Luke (Luke Loftin), and Andrew (Andrew Edwards) get suspended for spraying graffiti on the bathroom wall in protest of the book getting banned from the curriculum.  The trio comes up with the idea to live out the book according to Caulfield and experience true life and what it means to be a man.  The only problem is none of them have actually read the entire book –  a fact that they manage to hide from one another.  The guys grab a car, check into a motel room, and set off to experience drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll.

Of course nothing goes according to plan and what takes place is a series of weird wacky mishaps creating a domino effect of disasters that the guys must resolve in order to survive the week.  They encounter hookers, drug dealers, a vigilante school security guard, and a homeless woman that looks like one of the walking dead from a horror film.  With the “F” bomb going off on almost every other word, this male bonding film gives new meaning to the word raunchy.

The film manages to be hilarious even at the most outrageous moments and just when you think you can’t get surprised again something else gets in your face and you can’t help but laugh.  The boy’s reasoning powers to resolve problems defies logic and only manages to get them deeper into trouble.  I can’t go into too much detail about what really happens in the film because that would ruin the shock- factor.

“Bindlestiffs” is made by those staring in it and more than likely the new filmmakers are drawing from their own experiences and perspective of life making this gritty film seem quite real.  While there are several sexually suggestive scenes, a strong point to the film is that everything shown is pretty much left up to your imagination and  is very effective in making you cringe. It is only when you leave the theatre will you realize that you actually did not see anything.  Each shot moves quickly and the story line is nicely paced with no lag time to get bored with the shenanigans of the goofy threesome.

Those with a low tolerance to rough, brassy, and tacky dialog coupled with strange disturbing images might want to stay away from this movie. If you can see past the lewdness of “Bindlestiffs”, you will discover that this is just a quirky funny movie about three boys growing up and learning the art of communication and the true meaning of friendship.

Director:  Drew Goddard

Cast:  Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchinson, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford

Rating: B

All the ingredients to make a savory predictable horror movie are delivered up in the first one third of “Cabin in the Woods.”   We have five college friends off to spend a weekend in a remote cabin and of course no one will ever know they are there, let alone hear them scream if something jumps out and spooks them unexpectedly.  The group of beautiful youngsters is made up of Dana (Kristen Connolly) a model student and bookworm, Curt (Chris Hemsworth), the superstar athlete and his girlfriend Jules (Anna Hutchinson), the overly sexual blond bombshell.  Accompanying them is Holden (Jesse Williams), the intellect in the group and Marty (Fran Kranz) the permanently high-on-pot lovable goofball.

Back in civilization are Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford), two middle aged scientists heading up some type of highly sophisticated intricate medical lab. Sitterson and Hadley look completely bored with life and will do anything to break away from the daily grind of work and dull water-cooler conversations.  The two men along with their nerdy crew of employees are somehow connected to the students and the upcoming vacation in the woods. The connection is revealed in the film but to mention it now would give too much away.

Tension, thrills, chills, blood, guts and gore, along with gratuitous sex add to the delicious concoction that fans of horror thrive to see on the big screen.  The dusty old cabin with its misty, dark and deep basement filled with mysterious objects is a comforting place compared to the thick dark forest with its secret terrors.  The group of five gets several unwelcome surprises as they find themselves desperately trying to outwit nasty creepy things on a mission to never to let the youths return to their normal lives.  Just when you thought “Cabin in the Woods” is going to turn out to be the typical B-slasher movie, the film turns on high-energy providing sharp twists and turns in a storyline you can’t see coming.

With help from writers Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, the characters of Sitterson and Hadley deliver unexpected humor along with the delightful Marty who steals the show with his hilarious one-liners.  The rest of the cast does a decent job of portraying their roles but there is nothing phenomenal about any of the other performances.   Drew Goddard, who also directed the film, sets up audiences to get ready to jump out of their seats but instead those moments are so over the top one can’t help but burst out laughing.  At the end of the day, this movie is a satire on the modern horror genre.  The film reminds us that a really good scare does not need to rely on special effects but more on the building of suspense and the unexpected.

“Cabin in the Woods” gets pretty disgusting and is not for those who can’t stomach grossness and gore splattered all over the place.   The movie makes no sense but that was the point of the whole exercise – to show how ridiculous horror films have become. This piece of cinema is a wild and wacky way to show off the unexpected so go out and enjoy this crazy film with your friends – you will have plenty to talk about once you see the outlandish surprise revealed.

Director:  Tarseem Singh

Cast:  Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane

Rating: B

“Mirror Mirror” provides for some interesting twists in the classic Disney fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”   Tarsem Singh (“The Cell, “The Immortals”) creates a film with visionary flare.  Elaborate set designs and dazzling costumes make “Mirror Mirror” a stylized splash of color.  Filled with great one liners and lovable characters (even a character you love to hate), “Mirror Mirror” will offer up a good dose of light- hearted family fun.

The film opens with the queen (Julia Roberts) perched on her massive throne in an oversized disco gold colored gown.  The vision of Roberts looking so ridiculous in her grandiose get-up is guaranteed to get a loud laugh.  The spoiled, cruel, and jealous Queen heavily taxes her subjects, abuses her servants, and uses witchcraft to get her way.  She has been keeping her step daughter, Snow White (Lilly Collins) locked away so that almost no one even knows that the princess exists.  Snow White (affectionately known as Snow) bravely enters the main part of the castle and asks her stepmother if she can venture out into the kingdom on her 18^th birthday.  The nasty queen, giving Snow a sarcastic artificial look of love, refuses the request and banishes the young girl back to her room.

Snow decides to take matters into her own hands and sneaks out of the castle to explore the city and see how the common folk live. On her way she encounters shirtless Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) along with his steward hanging upside down from a tree. Being the kind little lady that she is, Snow cuts the two men down and continues on her way.  The prince heads for palace in search of shelter and clothes.  Once he has an audience with the queen, she sets her sights on him as her next husband. But, the prince can’t get the beautiful dark- haired fair skinned beauty that he met in the forest out of his mind.

Snow’s disobedience is discovered by the queen who decides that the only way to deal with the girl is to have her killed.  Brighton (Nathan Lane), the queen’s butler, is instructed to see to the killing.  The little monarch manages to escape her executor in the woods and stumbles upon a group of dwarfs living in seclusion.  She takes up residence with the motley crew of six miniature men who are a fine group of mischievous bandits.  This team of outcasts is not the cute dwarfs from the original Disney story.  Instead they are rough, tough, and gruff , but all with hearts of gold.

The cast of “Mirror Mirror” hold the film together quite well.  The dwarfs, one of the strong points in the movie, are adorable and get just enough screen time to solidify each personality.  Collins looks perfect as Snow and gives a strong delivery as she converts her character from a girl with no confidence into an action hero that can save the day.  Snow White does not need Prince Charming to save her – rather she saves him.  Hammer is great as the goofy daft prince always one step behind what is really going on.  Lane offers up several humorous moments as the terrified Brighton who could easily file an employee harassment suite against his wicked employer.  Roberts is brilliantly nasty as the bitchy queen desperately trying to hold on to her youth.  The best part of watching Roberts as the vicious conniving blueblood is that she looks like she is having a blast playing the part and her enthusiasm for the role jumps off the screen and slaps a smile on your face.

“Mirror Mirror” could have been known for perfect story telling had it not been for things falling apart at certain points in the film.  Tarsem Singh has a reputation for loading his movies with style over substance and is not known for solid story telling.  In the beginning of the movie, Roberts is narrating …..  and then all of sudden the narration just  stops.  Then there is a puppet scene orchestrated by the queen’s alter ego who lives in the mirror that stops the flow of the fairy tale dead in its tracks.  There are several other sequences which completely stray from the story such as the queen getting a facial and the prince high on drugs.

In this updated version of “Snow White”, there is plenty of slapstick comedy, a bit of action, and some sweet justice in the end to give audiences of all ages plenty to enjoy,  provided they can just forgive it’s flaws and just go with the flow.

Director:  Jonathan Liebesman

Cast:  Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Edgar Ramirez, Rosamund Pike, Toby Kebbell, Bill Nighy

Rating: C

Sam Worthington reprises his role as the demigod Perseus, son of the mighty Zeus (Liam Neeson), in “Wrath of the Titans” the sequel to the remake of “Clash of the Titans”.  The recently widowed Perseus (a strange twist considering in the first movie it was made clear that his love interest was immortal) is living a quiet humble life as a fisherman and single parent to a ten year old son.  Unexpectedly, Zeus makes a grand entrance into the humble home of his son and tells him that the Gods are in serious trouble. Apparently the Gods are going through a power drain because humanity is no longer praying to them and there is a threat of Kronos, Zeus’s creator and father who was banished to the underworld prison Tartarus, returning to power.  Kronos is on a mission not only to end the reign of the Gods but also to destroy mankind.  The all powerful father of Perseus begs for his son to help him stop the destruction of the two races.    But, much to the surprise of the king of Gods, Perseus refuses on the grounds that he made a promise to his wife to look after their son and never put the child in harms way.

Zeus turns to his brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes) but it turns out that Hades has joined forces with Ares (Edgar Ramirez) and formed an alliance to bring Kronos, the leader of the Titans, back to life by capturing Zeus and having his remaining power stolen and used to revive the evil lord.  When Persus finds out his father has been taken prisoner he is told that only with the help of his half brother Agenor (Toby Kebbell), another demigod, can daddy dearest be saved. Along the way the brothers enlist the help of the blond blue eyed beauty, Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) and Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), the eccentric builder of weapons for the Gods.

Director Jonathan Liebesman, as he did in “Battle Las Angeles”, loads up “Wrath of the Titans” with a string of explosions, large objects flying through the air, and fight scenes.  None of the action sequences ever really connect to the story line.  In the opening sequence Persus gets into a fight with some type of double headed fire-breathing dog like creature and we haven no idea why the lone beast is on the rampage. We have a group of one eyed Cyclops ready to kill pesky little humans invading their forest and then there is a sudden dialog in some foreign tongue and we are left to guess that the Cyclops suddenly changed their position on the little people and now only want to help them on their mission.  During one of the battle scenes we struggle to get a good view of a horrific warrior demon with two torsos attached to its body. But, the creature is moving around so fast audiences never get to see it and therefore, the ugly being never has the full effect of scaring those watching.  Then there is the featureless firing throwing Kronos whose appearance never makes you shiver with fear because he just looks like a pile of rocks made from a child’s logos blocks.  Actually, the active imagination of a child probably could do a better job of creating a more convincing scary villain.

I am very surprised that two fine actors like Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson would actually agree to participate in an over the top movie loosely based on Greek mythology and yet there they are bigger than life on the screen. I have to wonder if their bank accounts got so low that both actors just grabbed at the chance for what they thought would be some quick cash.  There is some comic relief provided by Toby Kebbell as the smart-ass thieving rogue that turns out to have the heart of true hero.  Rosamund Pike, sporting a chic look in armor accented with a bit of chiffon, does what she can with her character and if there is a sequel maybe the filmmakers can give her something of substance so that she can show off her acting talents.  Bill Nighy is quite amusing as the somewhat schizophrenic weapons maker.  Edgar Ramirez gets to stare intensely into the camera and spit out one-liners so that there is no mistaking him for a villainous unscrupulous God on a quest for power.  Sam Worthington will escape any criticism for his acting since the majority of the time he is fighting monsters.

There are points of tension in the film because it often appears as if Worthington’s character is going to lose but somehow the underdog always manages to prevail.  The 3D effects are not good but not bad either. For the most part the special effects for “Wrath of the Titans” accomplish the goal of giving audiences something to visually latch on to since the story line is so weak. Without the special effects, this movie would have really fallen flat.

Resembling nothing more than an elaborate video game, “Wrath of the Titan” will take its place among many other very forgettable films as audiences hope for more intelligent action adventure movies for the 2012 summer.

Director:  Lasse Hallstrom

Cast:  Amr Waked, Emily Blunt, Ewen McGregor, Kristin Scott Thomas, Rachel Stirling, Tom Mison

Rating: B

“Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”   uses romance, comedy, and just a bit of drama as bait to reel us into an enjoyable lightweight film.  A wild over the top idea to bring salmon fishing to Yemen brings together Dr. Alfred Jones (Ewen McGregor), Ms. Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Emily Blunt),  Sheik Mohammed (Amr Waked), and Patricia Maxwell (Kristin Scott Thomas).  The paths of the key players in the film cross when each gets involved in the scientifically impossible and illogical plan to create a body of water for fishing in the desolate land of Yemen.

Patricia is the English prime minister’s tough no nonsense press secretary looking for a story that will build relations with the Mideast that does not involve something blowing up. She stumbles across a story about the eccentric Sheik Muhammed who hatches a grand scheme to bring salmon fishing to his homeland. Patricia sets wheels in motion to make sure that his plan succeeds.  The Sheik hires Harriet, a public relations expert, to start the ball rolling and bring together all resources necessary to make his dream come true.  Harriet recruits Alfred who is an expert in fishery to be the brains behind the ambitious project.

Alfred, a very reluctant participant in the plot to send salmon all the way to Yemen, gleefully and firmly explains to Harriet why salmon would never survive in the Middle Eastern climate.  Harriet effectively counters Alfred’s argument with proof positive that in some areas of Yemen the climate is quite suitable for the fish.  Tongue tied and defeated, Alfred agrees to go along with the plan.  As they move forward with the quest, Alfred and Harriet bond with the Sheik, a rather philosophical and mystical thinker, and discover that his ultimate goal is to bring prosperity to his people by making his country more bountiful and fruitful.   The Sheik’s passion for his homeland is what seals the deal for both Harriet and Alfred making them strong allies for his cause.

We discover that Alfred is stuck in a loveless marriage with a workaholic dominating wife who barely notices him.  Harriet is grieving the possible loss of Captain Robert Mayers, her boyfriend of only three weeks who has gone missing in the mountains of Afghanistan.  While trying to decide what to do next in their relationships, Alfred and Harriet strike up a quirky unusual friendship that of course leads to the pair falling in love.

Ewen McGregor brings to life the rather stuffy boring character of Alfred with on point comedic timing with his lines.  McGregor is a reminder of classic actors like Cary Grant and Rock Hudson with his serious brooding expressions that often change to compassion or wonder each time he discovers something new about himself or those around him. As usual, Emily Blunt is delightful and brings a certain level of charm to the role of Harriet.  Unknown actor Amr Waked is very charismatic as the wealthy Sheik who can make anything happen with just the wave of his hand.  But, an opportunity to add more substance to this film by showing a deeper connection between Alfred and Muhammed, especially when the Sheik challenges some of the doctor’s beliefs, is completely missed.   Kristin Scott Thomas is a little over the top as the hard hitting press secretary who will stop at nothing to accomplish her goals,  but she  still manages to get several laughs.

There are points in the storyline that slow down almost to a snail’s pace and then there is a plot twist in the romance with one of the characters making a sudden switch that doesn’t make any sense.  At the end of the day, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” is basically about coming together for a common cause that often leads to building the most unlikely of relationships.  Swimming upstream in pleasantness, this cute little film is perfect experience for those wanting a wispy airy experience at the movies.

Director:  Roger Donaldson

Cast:  Nicolas Cage, January Jones, Guy Pearce, Harold Perrineau, Xander Berkeley

Rating: B-

Set against the backdrop of New Orleans, a city still surviving the aftermath of the Hurricane Katrina, the film “Seeking Justice” is about vigilantes gone wild.  A movie about regular people taking the law into their own hands to rid the world of filthy criminals has been done countless times before. But, unlike past greats such as “Taxi Driver”, “Batman Begins”, or “Man on Fire”, “Seeking Justice” only manages a yawn and sighs for its rather predictable featherbrained story line.

Will (Nicolas Cage) is a dedicated high school English teacher celebrating his anniversary with his lovely wife Laura (January Jones) at a beautiful historical New Orleans hotel.  Director Roger Donaldson sets up the opening scene to show us the love and passion Will and Laura share in their perfect dream- like life.  One evening Laura, an inspiring talented up and coming musician, is brutally attacked and raped.  Thankfully, Donaldson spared audiences of the actual rape scene but we do get a feel of the brutality of the crime when we see Laura’s bruised and battered face.  Will rushes to his wife’s side and is completely distraught and helpless as he witnesses the aftermath of the crime.

Mourning for his wife in the hospital waiting room, Will is approached by a mysterious man named Simon (Guy Pearce) who claims to be part of an elite group that can take care of the thug responsible for his wife’s attack. All Will has to do is commit to being available to return the favor someday.  Will’s facial expression tell us that he knows he is about to make a deal with the devil.  Will’s desire to keep his wife safe and punish the person responsible for putting her in the hospital overrules his better judgment and reluctantly Will accepts Simon’s offer.

Just as life is returning to normal, Will is contacted by Simon and instructed to assassinate a man marked as the next threatening hooligan who if let loose will terrorize the city .  Will is not up for the task of murder and instead tries to approach his target just to talk to him.  The man gets freaked out when Will approaches him and engages in a struggle that accidentally causes him to fall off a bridge into on coming traffic.  The day goes from bad to worse once the police get involved and falsely accuse Will of murder. To prove his innocence Will is now on the run searching for evidence to uncover the conspiracy of the masterminds using innocent people to complete their dirty work.

Cage gives a reasonable performance as a conflicted man ensnared in a spider’s web he is struggling to break free from.  There are car chases, fistfights, and gunfights that will distract attention from any overacting that Cage tends to do in most of his movies. Jones is very boring as the rather calm, cool, and collected crime victim.   Her performance is a hard to swallow considering the type of crime her character has suffered. Pearce has a chilling effect playing a character that uses the “means justifies the end” theory to accomplish his mission.  Pearce’s icy intense stare into the camera sends the message of a cold calculating champion of vengeance that won’t stop until he thinks all is right in the world.

Mimicking a the theme from the classic “The Fugitive” starring Harrison Ford,  “Seeking Justice” completely lacks the luster and intrigue that “The Fugitive” gave us when we watched Harrison Ford outsmart the law.  The movie is ultra predictable and audiences will have everything figured out less than half way through the film.  If someone is not able to see what is going to happen in the five minutes before the next sequence, chances are that person just fell asleep during the movie. The twist and turns in the film that are meant to be clever are silly, overdone, and only manage to evoke laughter even at the most serious points in the movie.  “Seeking Justice” is not a terrible movie – it just never gives anything back that will be worth talking about. In the end, this is one of those flicks that will just kill time and will be forgotten the second you leave that theatre.  Here is some well meaning advice for Nicolas Cage – Seeking out better movie roles to revive a once prestigious career would be sweet justice against those doubting he can make a true come back.

Director:  Andrew Stanton

Cast: Taylor Kitsih, Lynn Collins, William Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Dominic West, Mark Strong

Rating: B

The latest Disney big budget sci-fi thriller (coming in at around 250 million dollars), “John Carter”, is not a bad kickoff to the superhero blockbuster films for the upcoming spring and summer movie season.  The 3D effects in “John Carter” are pretty awesome and will be captured beautifully on an IMAX screen. The film is loaded with plenty of combat scenes, high-tech medieval looking spaceships, elaborate cities, sword fights, large white apes with sharp pointy teeth, and a serene red backdrop that makes for a desirable looking vacation spot.

To summarize the story we start off with John Carter (Taylor Kitsch), a civil war army vet on a quest for gold.  He gets captured by the army, chased by Apache Indians, and runs into a shape shifting alien named Matai Shang (Mark Strong). He manages to grab Matai’s medallion and while doing so somehow gets magically transported to Mars.  Carter discovers that on Mars he has the ability to leap through the air. While trying to figure out where the heck he is, John Carter is captured by a Thark called Tal Hajus (William Dafoe).  A Thark is a 12 foot tall, green, four armed Martian. Back at the Thark village, Carter learns of a war on the red planet between the cities of Helium and Zodanga.  Helium is ruled by Tardos Mors (Cirrian Hinds) and Zodanga is ruled by Sab Than (Dominic West).  In an effort to bring peace, Tardos Mors promises his daughter, Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins), to  Sab Than.  Dejah, a princess and scientist in search of the ninth ray ( I still have no idea what that is), runs away to avoid the fate of marriage and crosses paths with John Carter, who could care less what is happening on the red planet and just wants to get home.  It also turns out that Sab Than is being used as a pawn by none other than Matia Shang who gains power by creating conflict.

So is anyone out there confused yet by the complicated and rather disconnected story line?  You have nothing to worry about. Believe it or not, by the end of the film you will actually be able to make sense of it all.

John Carter is a mish mash of a lot of other movies.  You will see strong hints of “Pirates of the Caribbean” in battleship sequences.  We have an unwilling Princess trying to escape being married off to an unscrupulous villain. Hmm – sounds a little like “Princess Bride”.  Then there is a large scary beast that easily could be taken straight out of “Clash of the Titans”.  There are lots off reminders of films like “Superman”, “Attack of the Clones”, and even “Star Wars.”  Movie buffs will have no problem picking out all the similarities.

The filmmakers have cast Taylor Kitsch, a relatively unknown actor, in the lead role. Kitsch has the big brown eyes, six pack abs, and long silky hair to go with the image of his character.  He is able to pull off the role of John Carter by adding just the right amount suave and bravado to make him a believable hero.  There is definitely room for Kitsch to capitalize on this opportunity should it (and I am predicting it will) become a franchise.  Lynn Collins, (some of you may remember her as the love interest in “Wolverine”) is quite stunning as the princess/scientist.  She brings forth an intelligent strong heroine and has the perfect amount of chemistry with her co-star. Ciaran Hinds does not get a chance to do much but still comes out strong as a conflicted ruler trying to do what is best for his people. The two villains in the film, Mark Strong and Dominic West, are just the right blend of a slimy duo, each with their own interests.  William Dafoe does a great job of bringing life to the CGI animated character of Tars Hajus, making him one of the more memorable characters of the movie.

A glaring weakness in this latest Disney project is the amount of information crammed in and loosely strung together in a nearly incoherent story line. It would have been nice if the script for “John Carter” had been written so that there was not complete confusion for two-thirds of the movie. This movie feels a lot like a prelude and could have been set a part as something new and different had just a little more thought been put into some of the plot twists.  The film is loaded with copycat scenes from other films which for some will be very disappointing.  Thankfully, there is enough humor, action, romance, and visual effects thrown in to keep movie goers interested in this fantasy film.

Despite being a far from perfect film, “John Carter” is still a good time at the movies.  So get that bucket of popcorn, sit back, and leave common sense and high expectations at the door while enjoying this mindless flick.